Currently Listening 2nd Chance By Karen Clark Sheard A Secet Place see related

hey xanga wassup,

alot has taken place in my life since my last entry. When I say alot a mean stuff that will change my life forever. I don't even think I am ready for it. Matter of fact its been plenty of times where I have thought about doin what i have to do to make the situations better, knowing deep down inside that its not the right decision and that its not of GOD. First off, Aaron and I are not together anymore and its clear to see that we are not going to get back together. Secondly, I have just found out that I am having TWINS. Yeah that's right! TWO BABIES. I can't handle that. Dealing with the fact that aaron and I are not together and the fact that I have to deal with him although not wanting to makes me want to get an abortion. Then I went home last weekend and my mom said that she wanted me to stay at home next year to help me raise them and then the following year i coukd return to Central. I don't want to do that either!!!! I love being up here! I love my friends. I love hanging and chillin with them and eveything else. Most importantly I love the choir Divine Gospel Choir. I makes me very sad to know that Iam going to miss out next year. I mean they are like family for real. I just don't know what to do. It's even harder to lean on GOD now! But I know I need GOD more than ever. I REALIZED THAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS THE MESSED UP PART!!!!!! 

                           I just feel like nobody is going to be here for me at CENTRAL. I still feel like I am on my on. I never felt as bad as I diid when I went to my first doctor appointment by myself. It was the worse feeling of my life. I wish my mom or somebody was there and that same feelin that I had then is the same feeling that I have now. Its so hard having to jump from spoiled immature collge student to grown independent mother.I am JUST NOT READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't do anything anymore. I know I am not suppose to be thinking this way, but I feel like no one is ever going to want me. I'll never have a real man. No one wants a women with two kids. I just wish that I could close my eyes and exhale, and when I open them I wish for everything to be back the way it used to be before all of this stuff start happening. (I KNOW THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN)

TIL NEXT TIME......................

Currently Listening The Nu Nation Project By Kirk Franklin Riverside see related

Hey xanga!!!!!!

OMG it has been a long time since i have been on!!!!! I have just been having so much fun with everything and everybody that i just haven't had time. I still don't have much time so i'll share everything when I go back to school either saturday or sunday (hopefully saturday)................................Unitil Then..................................

be blessed

hey xanga ummm...... i got alot to say but i am sooo tired from work that i am going to wait until tonight to wite what i got to say. I actually got alot to say!!!!!!!!!!!! So imma bout to take a shower and get some sleep before i go back to work at 1p.m.

Currently Listening I Need You Now By Smokie Norful i need you now see related

HEY EVERYBODY,

Today was pretty good. I'm just anticipating my finals being over. I'm kinda tired of school. I think everybody needs a break. Ummm........oh yeah today was choir rehearsal and it was pretty good except everybody was talking to much. But whatever. I think that MSU is going to go pretty well. I think that they are going to be shocked compared to what i heard happened last year. Even in that, i know that it is going to be good because we are going to give GOD praise.

  Alot of things have been going on................ It is alot of decisions that i am thinking about making, some of them being good and some being bad. The most important being the decision of coming back to Central next year or just staying home in Detroit although I know that it is not a good idea. My only reason for going back to Detroit would be to continue my relationship with Aaron. Sometimes I don't know if that is a good enough reason. But you know how you love a person so you would do anything for them, its kinda like that. I dunno. All i can say is that I am going to continue to pray about it.

until next time...........

hey yall wassup

I'm doin okay today. i went to look around for my outfit today for MSU on friday. I saw alot of good stuff. I seen these  pants that  were omg  off the hook and i'm going back to get hem tomorrow. But anywayz everything else is looking up. i found out that i had money in my account that I didn't even know that I had. Ain't GOD good!!!!!! But yeah and then aaron and i are doing pretty well. But yes i'm still single. I'm kinda enjoying it to. Ummm..... but honestly what I really am focused on now is redaing and studying my BIBLE more. Its kinda hard when you got so many distractions. Although I do have distractions i mean i am really serious about it so that what i am going to work on more. But yeah that's about it for right now... I know i'll have more by the end of the night!!!!!!!

tty!!!!:)